It seems like life just doesn't slow down. Between work, school, kids, volunteer work, and, oh, yeah, there's that guy I married that I kind of like... There are days where I just don't feel like I can handle one more thing. I am tired, so tired. God tells us in Matthew 11:28 that we are to come to him. He says that he will give us rest when we are burdened. I tell you, I could really use some rest right now.
When I woke up this morning (an hour and a half later than normal by the way, told you I was tired) I realized that my heart did not have a desire to spend time with God. Normally when I wake up, that's the first thing I want to do. I want to make a cup of coffee, curl up in my big comfortable chair in the living room and spend time reading my Bible and praying. That desire was not there today. This morning, I made my cup of coffee, looked at my big comfortable chair, and made the choice to go downstairs and wake the kids up for school. This entire day, I have been coasting along, seeing the occasional encouraging verse on Facebook or catching a great worship song on the radio, but there has been no real desire to seek out God's presence, to go to Him. Where did that desire go?
There is another verse that has often pulled at my heart, "Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me" (Psalms 51:10). God created me. He designed me exactly the way that He wanted me, so He knows there are days, and will be more days, when I feel like I can not go to Him on my own power. So, days like today, I say many small prayers. Most of them are simply repeating Psalms 51:10 over and over, begging God to create a pure heart in me, to renew my spirit that so loves to spend time with Him.
It is completely normal for us to have days where we feel that we don't have the energy to devote to anyone, including to our relationship with God. It's not ok for us to stay there and to allow the world to pull us away from our first love, the love of our Father. So I will pray for God to continue to soften my heart for Him, to create a desire for His word in my soul, and when I get my kids off to bed tonight I will pour a cup of tea, head for my big comfortable chair in the living room, and spend time in God's word, resting in his presence.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
They Would Give up Jesus for Income and Security
Mark Chapter 5: 1-20 tells the story of a demon possessed man wandering in the graveyard. Jesus comes in and casts out the "Legion" of demons possessing this man into a herd of pigs. The pigs then rush down the hill into the sea and drown. This man had lived his life with thousands of demons residing in him, making it impossible for him to be around other people or even to function as a human being. When word came to the town that he had been healed, people rushed out to see the results. "When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man - and told about the pigs as well. Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region" (Mark 5:15-17, NIV).
Jesus had just saved a man's life! He had rescued him from thousands of demons, but the people asked him to leave. In the Life Application Study Bible the comment for the above verses says, "They may have also feared that Jesus would continue destroying their pigs - their livelihood. They would rather give up Jesus than lose their source of income and security." When I first read that I thought, how could you give up Jesus for income?!? But then I realized, haven't I?
What about those days when I am rushing to get ready for work and get the kids out the door for school... I am in such a rush that I don't take the time to spend with Jesus. I rush to the car, put the Christian radio station on in the van and call that my worship time. I have essentially told God that my own poor planning and rush to get to work is more important than my time with Him. There have been so many days when I have hurried to get onto my to do list and completely left God behind in my haste. On those days I have told Jesus, my checklist of things to do is more important than you. I would rather have my income, my clean house, my fresh baked goodies, than you.
Jesus has rescued me from my own demons, from own muddy pit of sin, and I tell him, please leave my region. Leave me to live life my way. My life will not work that way, and I have seen that play out many times. Today I say to God... Fill me with YOUR presence Lord, make you my priority, far above my income and my long to do list. I want to be like the demon possessed man, who after he was healed longed to do nothing but be with Jesus. Thank you God, for rescuing me from the demons in my heart and bringing me into relationship with you.
Jesus had just saved a man's life! He had rescued him from thousands of demons, but the people asked him to leave. In the Life Application Study Bible the comment for the above verses says, "They may have also feared that Jesus would continue destroying their pigs - their livelihood. They would rather give up Jesus than lose their source of income and security." When I first read that I thought, how could you give up Jesus for income?!? But then I realized, haven't I?
What about those days when I am rushing to get ready for work and get the kids out the door for school... I am in such a rush that I don't take the time to spend with Jesus. I rush to the car, put the Christian radio station on in the van and call that my worship time. I have essentially told God that my own poor planning and rush to get to work is more important than my time with Him. There have been so many days when I have hurried to get onto my to do list and completely left God behind in my haste. On those days I have told Jesus, my checklist of things to do is more important than you. I would rather have my income, my clean house, my fresh baked goodies, than you.
Jesus has rescued me from my own demons, from own muddy pit of sin, and I tell him, please leave my region. Leave me to live life my way. My life will not work that way, and I have seen that play out many times. Today I say to God... Fill me with YOUR presence Lord, make you my priority, far above my income and my long to do list. I want to be like the demon possessed man, who after he was healed longed to do nothing but be with Jesus. Thank you God, for rescuing me from the demons in my heart and bringing me into relationship with you.
Monday, January 25, 2016
I Don't Want to be a Mom Today
I had a rough morning with my daughters today. As they were getting ready for school there was fighting and name calling between the three of them. One of them hit the other, and I had had enough. I came out of the bathroom where I had tried to take a quick shower while they were getting ready and blew my top. Then I sent my husband a text, I'm done parenting, they are your responsibility now!
As I loaded the girls in the car to take them to school I became aware of how quiet it was. The ride to school in the morning is normally filled with plans for the day, singing along with the radio, and giggles from the back seat. There was none of that this morning. So I turned off the radio and began to talk to the girls about loving each other, I apologized for my reaction and asked for forgiveness. There were some smiles as I delivered them to their respective locations, but there was a damper on the day from the morning.
I began to wonder as I drove back to my quiet house, does God ever look at Jesus and say, "I'm done. These people are driving me crazy. They're you're problem now!" In Jeremiah 31:3 it says, "The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness" (New International Version). The note on this first in the Life Application Study Bible says, "God reaches toward his people with kindness motivated by deep and everlasting love. He is eager to do the best for them if they will only let him. After many words of warning about sin, this reminder of God's magnificent love is a breath of fresh air."
I love my children with my whole heart, but some days I feel like I do not have the strength to be their mom. I don't have the energy to be a referee, chauffeur, cheerleader, cook, and maid. But God loves me with an everlasting love. No matter how many times I sin and stumble and have those rough mommy mornings, God still loves me, and he loves my girls. He will never say that he's had enough of me! I can rest in the fact that I am God's child, and he will always reach for me with his everlasting love.
As I loaded the girls in the car to take them to school I became aware of how quiet it was. The ride to school in the morning is normally filled with plans for the day, singing along with the radio, and giggles from the back seat. There was none of that this morning. So I turned off the radio and began to talk to the girls about loving each other, I apologized for my reaction and asked for forgiveness. There were some smiles as I delivered them to their respective locations, but there was a damper on the day from the morning.
I began to wonder as I drove back to my quiet house, does God ever look at Jesus and say, "I'm done. These people are driving me crazy. They're you're problem now!" In Jeremiah 31:3 it says, "The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness" (New International Version). The note on this first in the Life Application Study Bible says, "God reaches toward his people with kindness motivated by deep and everlasting love. He is eager to do the best for them if they will only let him. After many words of warning about sin, this reminder of God's magnificent love is a breath of fresh air."
I love my children with my whole heart, but some days I feel like I do not have the strength to be their mom. I don't have the energy to be a referee, chauffeur, cheerleader, cook, and maid. But God loves me with an everlasting love. No matter how many times I sin and stumble and have those rough mommy mornings, God still loves me, and he loves my girls. He will never say that he's had enough of me! I can rest in the fact that I am God's child, and he will always reach for me with his everlasting love.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
God Keeps His Covenant
I was reading the story of Noah this morning in Genesis. Can you imagine the amazing experience that Noah had? The people had never seen rain before, yet God told him that water would come from the sky and flood the earth. The people of his time were consumed with their own pleasure and with experiencing everything that they wanted in the flesh (sound familiar?) and his family was focused on consuming God. I imagine that they were persecuted and mocked mercilessly. God promised that He would care for Noah's family. Genesis 6 17-18 says "Look! I am about to cover the earth with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes. Everything on earth will die. But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat- you and your wife and your sons and their wives" (NLT).
God kept his covenant with Noah, and you know what, He still keeps His covenant today! God has promised us that we are part of His family, that as we walk in his ways and obey Him we will be blessed to experience his presence in our lives. God promises that He will dwell within us in the Holy Spirit when we accept the gift of His son and commit our lives to following Him. But what about when we don't keep up our end of the bargain? What about when we commit that very same sin that we have committed over and over? What about when I yell at the kids in the morning because they are not getting ready fast enough? What about when I slander my husband when I am "asking for prayer" from a friend? Does God still keep his covenant then?
The answer is a resounding YES!!!! "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39, NIV).
Even when I sin and stumble, I am not separated from the love of Christ. Once I have accepted Him as my leader, I am always in His love.
Lord God, thank you so much for loving me, for always keeping your covenant to me even when I am not holding up my end of the deal. Even when I struggle with sin and a confusion about my purpose, thank you for keeping me safe in your presence and always surrounding me with your love. Amen.
God kept his covenant with Noah, and you know what, He still keeps His covenant today! God has promised us that we are part of His family, that as we walk in his ways and obey Him we will be blessed to experience his presence in our lives. God promises that He will dwell within us in the Holy Spirit when we accept the gift of His son and commit our lives to following Him. But what about when we don't keep up our end of the bargain? What about when we commit that very same sin that we have committed over and over? What about when I yell at the kids in the morning because they are not getting ready fast enough? What about when I slander my husband when I am "asking for prayer" from a friend? Does God still keep his covenant then?
The answer is a resounding YES!!!! "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39, NIV).
Even when I sin and stumble, I am not separated from the love of Christ. Once I have accepted Him as my leader, I am always in His love.
Lord God, thank you so much for loving me, for always keeping your covenant to me even when I am not holding up my end of the deal. Even when I struggle with sin and a confusion about my purpose, thank you for keeping me safe in your presence and always surrounding me with your love. Amen.
Friday, January 1, 2016
For Our Leaders
We have now entered an election year. There has already been a deluge of information about candidates and, unfortunately, the mud slinging has already begun. It is hard not to become discouraged with the amount of information and the unsurity of what is true and what is simply media embellishment. Many Christians abstain from voting or becoming involved at all in politics. That is definitely their right, but I wonder how responsible that is.
Isaiah 2:22 says, "Stop trusting in mere humans,who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?" Our salvation does not lie in political leaders. Our salvation rests in the one who created the leaders. God knows who the leaders will be and the choices that they will make. I, personally, feel that it is important for Christians to vote, not because our trust is in those in office, but because we want to participate in choosing leaders that will support Christian values. We are to pray for our leaders, pray for the weight that rests on their shoulders, and to pray that they make the choices that will lead our country in a direction that brings us closer to God.
We are in difficult times, there is no question of that. Maybe our leaders have made choices that have led us down a path that is contrary to our beliefs, but again, our trust is not in our leaders. I trust God and give my life to Him. My faith and hope rest in the creator of heaven and earth, but I will still pray for those who have been placed in a position of authority.
Isaiah 2:22 says, "Stop trusting in mere humans,who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?" Our salvation does not lie in political leaders. Our salvation rests in the one who created the leaders. God knows who the leaders will be and the choices that they will make. I, personally, feel that it is important for Christians to vote, not because our trust is in those in office, but because we want to participate in choosing leaders that will support Christian values. We are to pray for our leaders, pray for the weight that rests on their shoulders, and to pray that they make the choices that will lead our country in a direction that brings us closer to God.
We are in difficult times, there is no question of that. Maybe our leaders have made choices that have led us down a path that is contrary to our beliefs, but again, our trust is not in our leaders. I trust God and give my life to Him. My faith and hope rest in the creator of heaven and earth, but I will still pray for those who have been placed in a position of authority.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
I Want to be Used by God
There are so many little, trivial things in my life. I fix the kids breakfast, pack lunches, do the dishes, wash the laundry, go to my work, cook dinner, all of the things that busy moms everywhere do. I make hundreds of tiny small decisions every day: do we go to the store or make due with what we have at home? Do I read my book or play a family board game? Do I watch this t.v show that I really like, or pick something else that maybe the kids would enjoy a little more? None of these moment by moment decisions are huge leaps of faith or make a giant impact on the world around me.
I serve a mighty God, and I want to be used by God to do mighty things. In her devotional "Jesus Calling" Sarah Young writes from the perspective of God, "What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on me."
Psalm 40:4 says "Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods." This verse says that I will be blessed if I trust in the Lord. That if I don't turn away and pursue false gods or idols in my life, I will be blessed. How does this relate to the fact that I want to be used by God?
God will work through those who trust Him, who follow Him, who do not rely on their own pride and strength. If I trust God, if I obey Him every day in even the smallest of moments, he will use me in mighty ways. When I am fixing breakfast and the kids start fighting and screaming each other, when I choose to respond in a loving tone rather than yelling, I am obeying God. When I am looking at my bank balance and I realize that picking up yet another quick dinner at the grocery store is not wise, so I choose to work with what I have at home instead, I am honoring God with my finances. When I put aside a selfish desire to watch a television show with inappropriate content and instead spend time playing a game with my kids, I am honoring God with my time. "If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken" (Isaiah 1:19-20).
I might never know the impact that my small decisions have on the lives of those around me. I may never hear some grand proclamation that because of me, someone found God. But I will know, deep in my heart, that when I obey God in even the smallest things in my life, I am being used by a mighty God, and He will do mighty things!
Friday, December 18, 2015
Glory From our Troubles
God is reminding me every day that we will have troubles in this world, but that He has already overcome them. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Cor. 4:17). I tend to become overwhelmed very easily with troubles, and my difficulties are so small compared to those in other parts of the world. I am blessed with a warm home, plenty of food to eat, an amazing church, and friends and family that truly bring joy to my life. My troubles, while they might seem like mountains to me, are truly just small hills in the wide picture of this world.
I don't have to be afraid that I will be arrested for going to church. I don't have to worry about being tortured or killed for being a Christian. I am able to afford gifts for my children and to bake yummy Christmas treats with them. My blessings are overflowing!
And yet... there are days when I can barely get out of bed. There are mornings, when the last thing that I want to do is go and cook breakfast for the kids. I have Sunday mornings where I wonder, would they really miss me at church if I decided to just hang out and watch t.v instead? There are days when I am in pain, pain that makes it almost impossible to think of anything else. And, there are times when I wonder, what do I really do all of this for? Why do I go to church, why do I worship, why do I devote so much time to these kids who are, quite frankly, completely oblivious to how much is really involved in keeping our family running?
In every struggle that I have, God is preparing me. He is preparing me for eternal glory. When my daughter rolls her eyes at me for the fifteenth time in the morning, God is showing me how much sweeter it is when I can gently correct her than if I were to start yelling (but sometimes all I really want to do is blow my top). When I am in pain and even the process of walking across the house is too much to bear, God is teaching me empathy and to rely on Him for everything that I need. When I a feeling overlooked, unloved, and taken for granted, I know that God sees me. God loves me, and He loves that I worship Him.
The eternal glory that I will receive when I finally enter the kingdom of God, far outweighs those daily struggles that truly are light and momentary.
I don't have to be afraid that I will be arrested for going to church. I don't have to worry about being tortured or killed for being a Christian. I am able to afford gifts for my children and to bake yummy Christmas treats with them. My blessings are overflowing!
And yet... there are days when I can barely get out of bed. There are mornings, when the last thing that I want to do is go and cook breakfast for the kids. I have Sunday mornings where I wonder, would they really miss me at church if I decided to just hang out and watch t.v instead? There are days when I am in pain, pain that makes it almost impossible to think of anything else. And, there are times when I wonder, what do I really do all of this for? Why do I go to church, why do I worship, why do I devote so much time to these kids who are, quite frankly, completely oblivious to how much is really involved in keeping our family running?
In every struggle that I have, God is preparing me. He is preparing me for eternal glory. When my daughter rolls her eyes at me for the fifteenth time in the morning, God is showing me how much sweeter it is when I can gently correct her than if I were to start yelling (but sometimes all I really want to do is blow my top). When I am in pain and even the process of walking across the house is too much to bear, God is teaching me empathy and to rely on Him for everything that I need. When I a feeling overlooked, unloved, and taken for granted, I know that God sees me. God loves me, and He loves that I worship Him.
The eternal glory that I will receive when I finally enter the kingdom of God, far outweighs those daily struggles that truly are light and momentary.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)