Tomorrow
wraps up my first college term, two classes down and a million more to go. I
look at my degree completion plan and all of the courses that I have before me
and I feel overwhelmed, like there is no way that I will be able to complete
this journey that I started.
The
other night one of my seven year old daughters told me that she was worried
about some tests that she had coming up at school. I told her, “Honey, God
doesn't want us to worry about tomorrow. He says that today has enough worries
of it’s own. Have you studied?” Her answer was yes. “Did you practice test
taking?” Another yes. “Then you have nothing to worry about.”
Man
I’m good at giving advice to my kids…. Not so good at following that same
advice. Here I am looking at 7 years of school to become a Christian Counselor
and worrying about the next six and a half of them. Sometimes I doubt my sanity
in starting college now, at 32 with a husband, three amazing daughters, and a
day job. I kind of like hanging out with that guy I married and playing with my
kids, I have to work so that we have a house to live in and food to eat, what
makes me think that I can jump into full time college on top of all of that? I
have felt God stirring in my heart for years about gaining my degree and
becoming a counselor, from my own struggles to all of those friends that I met
for coffee so that we could work through an issue. I started school with a
heart full of optimism and my “I can do anything” attitude. It didn't take long
for me to begin feeling like maybe I had jumped in with both feet a little bit
too soon.
Do
you know what made me feel that way? That dang degree completion plan that
lists out every single class that I will have to take in order to receive my
degree. I found myself up last night stressing out about an internship that I
don’t have to do for another three years. I was seriously worked up about how I
was going to work and do an internship and still have time for all of the
things that my family depends on me for. Talk about worrying about tomorrow.
I
know that God placed it on my heart to be a counselor. I know that I am fully
capable of carrying a full time college schedule and a part time job. I know
that every day when I line up my schedule for work, school, kids, and housework,
it is all doable. I have already experienced weeks when I get behind and have
to ask that incredible man I married to help me out a little bit more. The kids
have learned how to load and unload the dishwasher, sweep and vacuum the floor,
and operate the washing machine; it was probably about time for that to happen
anyway. I know I can do this with God’s help and guidance. I will focus on what
He has asked me to worry about today, and tomorrow, well I’ll get to that when
I get there.
Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about
tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of
its own.” (NIV)
