I Want to be Used by God

There are so many little, trivial things in my life. I fix the kids breakfast, pack lunches, do the dishes, wash the laundry, go to my work, cook dinner, all of the things that busy moms everywhere do. I make hundreds of tiny small decisions every day: do we go to the store or make due with what we have at home? Do I read my book or play a family board game? Do I watch this t.v show that I really like, or pick something else that maybe the kids would enjoy a little more? None of these moment by moment decisions are huge leaps of faith or make a giant impact on the world around me. 

I serve a mighty God, and I want to be used by God to do mighty things. In her devotional "Jesus Calling" Sarah Young writes from the perspective of God, "What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on me." 

Psalm 40:4 says "Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods." This verse says that I will be blessed if I trust in the Lord. That if I don't turn away and pursue false gods or idols in my life, I will be blessed. How does this relate to the fact that I want to be used by God? 

God will work through those who trust Him, who follow Him, who do not rely on their own pride and strength. If I trust God, if I obey Him every day in even the smallest of moments, he will use me in mighty ways. When I am fixing breakfast and the kids start fighting and screaming each other, when I choose to respond in a loving tone rather than yelling, I am obeying God. When I am looking at my bank balance and I realize that picking up yet another quick dinner at the grocery store is not wise, so I choose to work with what I have at home instead, I am honoring God with my finances. When I put aside a selfish desire to watch a television show with inappropriate content and instead spend time playing a game with my kids, I am honoring God with my time. "If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken" (Isaiah 1:19-20). 

I might never know the impact that my small decisions have on the lives of those around me. I may never hear some grand proclamation that because of me, someone found God. But I will know, deep in my heart, that when I obey God in even the smallest things in my life, I am being used by a mighty God, and He will do mighty things!

Glory From our Troubles

God is reminding me every day that we will have troubles in this world, but that He has already overcome them. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Cor. 4:17). I tend to become overwhelmed very easily with troubles, and my difficulties are so small compared to those in other parts of the world. I am blessed with a warm home, plenty of food to eat, an amazing church, and friends and family that truly bring joy to my life. My troubles, while they might seem like mountains to me, are truly just small hills in the wide picture of this world.

I don't have to be afraid that I will be arrested for going to church. I don't have to worry about being tortured or killed for being a Christian. I am able to afford gifts for my children and to bake yummy Christmas treats with them. My blessings are overflowing!

And yet... there are days when I can barely get out of bed. There are mornings, when the last thing that I want to do is go and cook breakfast for the kids. I have Sunday mornings where I wonder, would they really miss me at church if I decided to just hang out and watch t.v instead? There are days when I am in pain, pain that makes it almost impossible to think of anything else. And, there are times when I wonder, what do I really do all of this for? Why do I go to church, why do I worship, why do I devote so much time to these kids who are, quite frankly, completely oblivious to how much is really involved in keeping our family running?

In every struggle that I have, God is preparing me. He is preparing me for eternal glory. When my daughter rolls her eyes at me for the fifteenth time in the morning, God is showing me how much sweeter it is when I can gently correct her than if I were to start yelling (but sometimes all I really want to do is blow my top). When I am in pain and even the process of walking across the house is too much to bear, God is teaching me empathy and to rely on Him for everything that I need. When I a feeling overlooked, unloved, and taken for granted, I know that God sees me. God loves me, and He loves that I worship Him.

The eternal glory that I will receive when I finally enter the kingdom of God, far outweighs those daily struggles that truly are light and momentary.

How Can I Be Like Christ?

I look around the world today, when we are in the middle of the season that is supposed to be all about celebrating the birth of Christ, and I begin to feel discouraged. I begin to wonder, how can I, a small, broken woman, proclaim Christ to a world that is in so much pain. As I read in Isaiah this morning a few verses jumped out to me:

Isaiah 3:15 "People will oppress each other, man against man, neighbor against neighbor. The young will rise up against the old, the nobody against the honored."

Isaiah 5:20 " Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter."

My sweet friends, this is the time that we live in. People are being oppressed in every corner of the world and society celebrates evil and sin. How do I rise above that? How do I show Christ to others? I feel so broken, full of holes. It is so easy for me to look around and feel overwhelmed and terrified of all of the need everywhere around me.

God can shine his light through those broken pieces of my soul. "For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness' made his light shine in our hearts, to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ" (2 Cor. 4:6). Those parts of myself that I'm not so proud of, God can use those to shine his light. He can work with my brokenness to show other broken people the redemptive power of his love.

So, how can I be like Christ? I can take this small, broken woman and I can give her to God. I can spend time in his word. I can choose to obey his commands, and I can love the people that He places in my path. I can choose every day to love God more than myself and to love His people with all of my heart. When everywhere I look around me I see pain and suffering, I can choose to be love and shine just a little bit of light into the darkness of this world.

Honoring the Temple

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefor honor God with your bodies." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

God created me to live a life that brings honor to Him and to help guide other people to a relationship with Him. He gave me my body as a tool to accomplish this goal. I have not been treating this tool as a gift from God. I have been abusing this body by filling it with food that is unhealthy and by not exercising. These habits have led me to be a part of the trend of obesity that we are seeing in our country.

I am a wife and a mother. I am leading three amazing daughters to adulthood, and right now I am showing them that it is not important to keep myself healthy. I want my little girls to grow up to be women who understand the importance of physical health along with a strong relationship with God. I am making this commitment, right now, I will no longer be a slave to food and laziness. I will treat this temple with the honor that it deserves being the house of God.

I am starting my journey with a seven day clean eating challenge. For seven days, I will commit to eating food that is good for me and is fuel for my body. I will need support. I will need to be surrounded by people who, like me, are no longer satisfied with an unhealthy life. Let's begin this important task of being a healthy servant of God together.

Even When I Don't Feel Worthy

I know that God created me by design. He has plans for my life, plans for a future that will glorify Him. So, why are there some days when I can hardly pull myself out of bed? Why do I wake up some mornings and still find myself wondering why I even bother to function at all? I believe in God. I love God. Doesn't that mean that I should no longer struggle with my own worth?

How I wish that was the case! God loves me exactly the way He created me, but sometimes I don't love myself so much. I have a supportive husband, three amazing kids, and a church family that supports us no matter what. And yet, sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder why I am even allowed to be a part of the family of God. If they really knew what I looked like inside, who I really am, the thoughts that I sometimes think... they wouldn't want me anymore. I know that I am not the only one sitting in that worship center wondering if I belong, if I should even be there, if my belief in God is really strong enough to live a life devoted to following Him.

I was reading in Ephesians this morning and I read chapter 5 verses 1-2. They say, "Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." I am a dearly loved child of God, with my internal struggles and all. He loves me so much that he was willing to endure torture and death on a cross for me. So maybe, like Paul, I will struggle with this thorn for my entire life. Maybe there will always be days when I wake up and feel like I am not worthy of God's love. But even though I feel that way, it is so far from the truth. God loves me. Me! The girl who doesn't have it all together. The mother who wonders if I am screwing my kids up for the rest of their lives. The wife who thinks my husband is way too good for me. The woman who sometimes wonders why I bother to get out of bed at all. And even if I was the only one to save, Jesus still would have hung on the cross for me. So, even when I don't feel worthy, God tells me that I truly am.